7 Cara Atasi Amarah Pasangan

Pertengkaran adalah lumrah dan asam garam dalam suatau kehidupan berumahtangga. Tidak kiralah suami atau isteri yang memulakannya dulu. Jika tidak dikawal pertengkaran ini boleh membawa kepada suatu hubungan yang tidak sihat. Apabila berlaku pertengkaran, salah seorg atau kedua2nya pasti merasai tekanan atau keterlaluan. Perasaan marah dan benci sukar untuk dihindari dalam masa terdekat dan ada kalanya mengambil masa berminggu2. Walau bagaimanapun ahli psikologi berpendapat kemarahan lelaki biasanya mudah terpadam berbanding golongan wanita.

Manakala golongan wanita pula sukar untuk marah tetapi kemarahan yang mereka rasai akan berpanjangan. Kemarahan bukan sahaja disebabkan pertengkaran, malah ada kalanya hal luar rumah atau remeh juga mampu meledakkan situasi ini. Dan dalam hal ini, jika berlaku..salah seorg daripada anda harus mengambil inisiatif dan bersikap rasional. Bertenang dan melupakan pertengkaran yg berlaku untuk seketika boleh menyenangkan fikiran. Malah aktiviti seperti mandi, berjalan atau mengayuh basikal perlahan2 juga mampu membantu meredakan keadaan. Walau bagaimanapun, sebagai pasangan, anda disarankan untuk melakukan 7 perkara berikut bagi membantu meredakan kemarahan si dia.

1. BUAT APA YANG DIA SUKA
Selepas bertahun2 hidup bersama, anda pasti tahu apa yg disukai oleh pasangan anda. Misalnya ada suami/isteri yang suka rumah kelihatan kemas setiap masa. Cuba perhatikan persekitaran anda, adakah faktor rumah menambah lagi kekusutan fikiran. Jika keadaan rumah tidak seperti yang selalu disukainya, kemungkinan ini akan menambah lagi serabut fikiran.


2. BIARKAN DIA SENDIRIAN
Ada juga pasangan yang suka dibiarkan sendirian apabila sedang marah. Dalam keadaan ini anda harus memberi kerjasama sepenuhnya. Pastikan anak2 tidak membuat bising di sisinya. Jika dia berada di dalam bilik, jangan sesekali cuba mengetuk dan memanggil namanya. Biasanya kemarahan akan cepat reda tanpa gangguan.

3. PESANAN BERTULIS
Apabila si dia sedang marah, apa sahaja perbincangan yang dibuat tiada gunanya. Dia tidak akan dapat membuat keputusan dengan sebaik mungkin dalam keadaan begitu. Apabila anda hendak memberitahu sesuatu, atau ada pesanan penting yang mesti disampaikan kepadanya, sebaiknya tuliskan sahaja dan jangan bercakap dengannya kecuali dia bertanya.

4. BANTUAN ORANG TERSAYANG
Selain anda, pasti ada org lain paling disayanginya dalam keluarga anda. Mungkin ibunya, adiknya atau anak anda sendiri. Anda mungkin tidak berjaya memujuk atau meredakan perasaan marahnya, tetapi org lain itu mungkin boleh membantu, sekurang2nya bertanya sesuatu kepadanya.

5. MENYEDIAKAN KEPERLUAN
Ketika dia sedang marah, hari sudah pun menjelang petang. Mungkin waktu ini biasanya dia hendak pergi beriadah, mandi di kolam ataupun bersiar-siar di taman. Sediakan segala keperluannya seperti biasa. Dengan suara yg paling lembut, cuba tanyakan apakah keperluan lain yang dia ingini. Jangan sesekali bertanya punca kemarahannya.

6. SELEPAS SATU JAM
Pada waktu ini biasanya tahap kemarahan sudah pun reda. Anda boleh mendekatinya untuk melihat reaksinya. Jangan terus bertanya sesuatu. Jika kemarahan sudah reda, dia akan mendekati anda dahulu dan bersuara. Jadi anda perlu bersabar dalam menghadapi situasi ini.

7. SELEPAS DUA JAM
Pada masa ini, kemarahan mungkin akan berkurangan sama sekali. Malah dia mungkin sudah melupakan kemarahan tersebut. Perhatikan wajahnya. Jika suasana kembali tenang, inilah peluang anda untuk menunjukkan kemesraan. Buat sementara waktu, anda mungkin tidak perlu bertanya apa2 pun perkara yg berkaitan dengan kemarahannya. Sebaliknya mungkin dia akan bercerita atau memberi penjelasan mengenai apa yg telah berlaku.


13 comments:

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April 10, 2009 at 11:35 PM  

intan,

sebolehnya elakkan dari adanya pertengkaran. sebab bila difikir semula.... perkara yang ditengkarkan tu bukan tak boleh dibincang dalam suasana ketawa/ceria. kena positif untuk setiap perkara.

suasana mesra membuatkan hari-hari yang berlalu sungguh bermakna. ciptakan dan pelbagaikan suasana mesra.

jangan anggap pasangan seperti orang asing yang boleh membataskan satu2 perhubungan. tapi jadikan pasangan seperti saudara, adik beradik atau kawan yang boleh kita perlakukan tanpa membataskan perbuatan tanpa hilang rasa hormat atau tanggungjawab.

jika berlaku juga pertengkaran petua tersebut boleh dipraktikkan... :)

kongsi ilmu ni.... makasey

April 13, 2009 at 11:27 AM  

re Rantong:

Terima kasih sbb kongsi ilmu..



re Kak Zan:

Alhamdulillah kalau suami isteri hidup saling memerlukan dan tidak mengganggap pasangan sebagai orang asing..

Tapi sebenarnya masih ada pasangan suami isteri menganggap pasangan mereka orang asing..Contohnya memang ada.. Kawan saya send iri..Sebab itu saya berkongsi ilmu yang saya baca dari sebuah majalah ke dalam blog ni. Semoga ilmu ini boleh di praktikkan oleh pasangan yang menghadapi masalah itu..

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